sábado, 30 de agosto de 2008

As 10 contusões mais bizarras da NBA

Isso vale 2 pontos no taekwondo
Não sei se vocês já sabem, mas o Monta Ellis se machucou e ficará sem poder jogar por pelo menos por 12 semanas. Isso quer dizer que ele vai perder boa parte da temporada. E já que o Warriors perdeu o Baron Davis e o Oeste é disputado pra diabo, isso quer dizer que o Warriors pode ter perdido sua vaga nos Playoffs mais de um mês antes da temporada começar.
O problema foi no tornozelo e precisou de cirurgia, que já foi realizada. Muita gente que torce para o time já está triste chorando no ombro de amigos. O próprio General Manager do Warriors, Chris Mullin, disse meio cabisbaixo que a pré-temporada seria importante para Monta se adaptar a sua nova função como armador principal e que agora terá que aprender com a temporada já rolando.
Deu até pra ficar com pena do jogador por um tempo. Ninguém quer se machucar, né? Até que, de repente, descobrimos que ele vai perder todos esses jogos porque se envolveu num acidente de MOTINHA! Sim, esse é o nome correto para scooters. O jogador tinha uma cláusula em seu contrato que dizia que ele não poderia andar de moto por causa do risco de lesões, então é claro que ele então MENTIU dizendo que tinha se machucado jogando basquete com amigos. Depois descobriram e a soma da quebra da cláusula e da mentira rendeu uma suspensão de 30 partidas. Isso quer dizer que ele não só não irá jogar, mas não irá RECEBER DINHEIRO pelas partidas que perder.
Fica um pouquinho pior: o técnico Don Nelson e o manager Chris Mullin não viram nada de mais na lesão do Ellis, o plano era não fazer nada a respeito. O presidente do time, Robert Rowell,  teve que intervir para lembrar que um cara que tinha acabado de assinar um contrato de 66 milhões de dólares já estava o descumprindo nos primeiros meses, prejudicando "o time, os negócios e a torcida".
O acidente de moto ilegal que virou uma crise entre os PODERES do Golden State Warriors é apenas uma das contusões bizarras que já povoaram a liga. Hora de lembrar de outras:

10 - Tony Allen
Quantas vezes vocês não continuaram jogando bola mesmo depois que o professor de Educação Física apitou? No esporte, desde as aulinhas da escola até a Copa do Mundo, o apito é quem manda. É o sinal de "pare". Se acontece alguma infração ou acaba o jogo, ouve-se um apito e então todos devem parar. O apito é a hora em que você pára de bater no outro cara para cumprimentá-lo e trocar a camisa.
Mas não para Tony Allen. Para ele o apito é sinal de "Vou mostrar pra todo mundo a enterrada que eu sei fazer".
O jogo parou. Tony Allen continuou, pulou, tentou enterrar, errou a enterrada, caiu de mal jeito, torceu o joelho e ficou fora da temporada. O vídeo dá uma certa agonia, sugiro nem assistir.




9- Ron Artest
Jogadores da NBA são ricos e gostam de comprar presentes para as pessoas que gostam. Mas a prova de amor de Ron Artest para sua mulher rendeu uma contusão bizarra.
O ala do Sacramento Kings comprou um Mercedes SL 500 para a esposa, mas ela simplesmente não achou que era seu estilo. Já que tinha comprado, o Artest decidiu que ele mesmo ia ficar com a máquina. Acontece que o teto do carro é baixo e o Artest é UM JOGADOR PROFISSIONAL DE BASQUETE, forçando-o a ficar corcunda. Depois de alguns dias de direção, as costas do Artest travaram e ele não conseguiu começar jogando uma partida que o Kings perdeu para o Memphis Grizzlies.
Não compre carros no impulso, cara, eles são caros.

8- Kendrick Perkins
O magrinho pivô dormia gostoso em sua cama quando um lado dela desabou. Ploft. Perkins foi tentar arrumar o desastre, levantou e quando mexia no outro lado da cama, a parte da cabeceira começou a cair! De pijaminha, aquele MURO HUMANO correu para tentar segurar a cabeceira, mas era tarde demais. Tudo desabou bem em cima do seu dedão do pé. Ele não jogou a partida seguinte contra o Sacramento Kings.

7- BJ Tyler
Para quem não lembra (todos menos a mãe do coitado), BJ Tyler foi a 29° escolha do draft de 1994, escolhido pelo Philadelphia 76ers. Jogou 55 partidas no seu primeiro ano, com humildes médias de 3,5 pontos e 3,2 assistências.
Antes do seu segundo ano, ele foi escolhido no draft de expansão pelo recém-nascido Toronto Raptors e foi para o Canadá. Lá deve ser tão frio, mas tão frio, que o Tyler conseguiu dormir enquanto fazia um tratamento com gelo no seu joelho! As horas de gelo causaram um problema no seu nervo (não me pergunte como) e ele nunca mais conseguiu ser o mesmo.

6- Brad Miller
O cara estava em alta. Foram dois jogos seguidos com 20 pontos e 20 rebotes e ele tinha sido eleito o melhor jogador da semana na conferência Oeste. E estou falando do Brad Miller do ano passado, nem é aquele dos seus bons tempos de parceiro do Chris Webber. Mas de repente, no meio da boa fase, ele aparece com 9 pontos no dedo da mão e não pode jogar. O que aconteceu?
"É a última vez que eu ajudo a lavar a louça."
Sim! Brad Miller se cortou feio com uma faca ao lavar a louça! Onde estão os imigrantes ilegais? Ele mora na Califórnia e é rico, pô! Mikki Moore também se revoltou:
"Você faz 20 pontos e 20 rebotes em dois jogos seguidos e depois corta o dedo fora? Isso não é muito inteligente."

5- Kobe Bryant
O humilde Brad Miller já não tinha desculpa pra não ter uma mísera máquina de lavar louças, então que desculpa teria Kobe Bryant? Ele ganha 20 milhões de dólares por temporada e ainda precisa passar o aspirador de pó em casa? O vídeo em que ele conta o caso já SUMIU, mas aconteceu.

4- Kevin Johnson

Lembram do Kevin Johnson? Os mais pivetes podem não lembrar, mas ele era um puta jogador, já foi da seleção americana, 7° escolha no draft de 1987, dava uns passes bem maneiros, foi um dos únicos três jogadores a ter média de 20 pontos e 12 assistências em uma temporada e depois se tornou PREFEITO DE SACRAMENTO! Difícil ser político, mas nada tão difícil quanto jogar com Charles Barkley...
Em um jogo de temporada regular pelo Phoenix Suns, Barkley fez uma MALUCA cesta da vitória no último segundo contra o Blazers. Então Sir Charles correu em direção ao companheiro e o abraçou com força. Muita força. Kevin Johnson saiu da quadra com a vitória e uma lesão no joelho:



3- Gilbert Arenas
Nas palavras do próprio Agente Zero:
"Quando eu era novato na NBA alguns veteranos do time me convenceram a depilar, você sabe, lá embaixo. Eles falavam que os pelos de lá fedem muito. Então peguei uma gilete da minha namorada, mas a lâmina era velha, ruim e me deu quelóide (quer ver o que são quelóide, NÃO veja aqui, Irgh!). Meu médico me deu um remédio para colocar só em cima das cicatrizes, mas eu já joguei e espalhei por tudo lá. Três dias depois acordei gritando. A pele estava queimada no meu saco, em tudo, era carne viva. Eu ainda tinha que ir lá, correr, jogar, então usei um spray para anestesiar durante um mês até sarar. Agora eu raspo com máquinas."
Melhor ter pentelho fedido.

2- Lionel Simmons
Conhecido como L-Train, a 7° escolha no draft de 1990 estava em grande fase na sua temporada de novato mas, claro, ainda era só uma criança. Logo após ter sido eleito o jogador da semana, Lionel Simmons foi para a lista de contundidos por causa de uma tendinite.
Muitas horas JOGANDO TETRIS NO GAME BOY não fizeram bem pra ele.
Se isso foi em 90 quer dizer que era aquele GameBoy-Tijolo com tela verde. Nem tinha Pokemón para ele trocar com os coleguinhas de time. E como o NBA All-Star Challenge era um lixo, deve ter sido só Tetris mesmo. Haja paciência.

1- John Starks
Ele poderia ter ficado famoso apenas pela enterrada que deu contra o Bulls nos playoffs de 93. Mas não, o destino não quis assim. John Starks é conhecido também como o cara que teve uma torção de testículo. Sim. Torção de testículo, a contusão mais bizarra da história da NBA. De longe!
Eu não sabia nem que isso existia, mas existe sim, veja o que site ABC da Saúde diz a respeito:
"É uma dor súbita no escroto (saco, saco escrotal) acompanhada de aumento de volume do mesmo. Pode estar acompanhada de sinais locais, tais como 'inchume', aumento da temperatura e 'vermelhidão'. Sintomas gerais como náuseas, vômitos e dor abdominal podem acompanhar o quadro. Geralmente crianças e adolescentes são mais afetados. É uma emergência cirúrgica."
OUCH!!!! Vocês conseguem imaginar como deve ser terrível ter uma dor assim nas bolas? Dizem que dá pra consertar em alguns casos mas em outros tem que tirar fora o testículo torcido, que foi o caso do John Starks, que sofreu isso quando jogava pelo Jazz e bem no meio de uma série de Playoff. Essa nem vou arriscar no Google Imagens.

UPDATE:
Outras lesões bisonhas na NBA:
  • Seguindo o exemplo de Monta Ellis, Vladimir Radmanovic mentiu para o LA Lakers após se machucar fazendo snowboard. Descobriram e ele ganhou o apelido de "Slalom" depois disso.
  • Derrick Rose já cortou o braço ao esquecer que tinha deixado uma FACA, usada para cortar uma maçã, em cima da cama.
  • Dirk Nowitzki torceu o pé em 2001 ao CALÇAR o tênis antes do jogo. Tava apertado e quando ele foi dar um pisão forte no chão para checar se estava firme, descobriu que não estava.
  • O que você faz quando acabou de operar o joelho? Joga boliche, né Andrew Bynum? Não acabou bem.
  • Sabe quando aqueles caras parecem muito machos fazendo flexões com o punho fechadoKevin Love tentou ser um desses machos e saiu de mão quebrada.
  • Num acesso de fúria, Amar'e Stoudemire quebrou a mão SOCANDO um extintor de incêndio do Madison Square Garden.
  • Enes Kanter deu uma porrada em algo menos destruidor, uma CADEIRA, mas quebrou o braço do mesmo jeito.

37 comentários:

Victor Moraes disse...

Teve o Greg Oden também... que perdeu a temporada pq se machucou levanatndo do sofá não foi +/- isso?

uhauhahuauhauhauhauhahahua

Denis disse...

Foi isso mesmo! Quer dizer, provavelmente o joelho dele já tava meio ferrado, mas ele sentiu a dor mesmo quando estava levantando do sofá. Patético!

Alcindo disse...

Cade a contusão do Francisco Garcia ?!?!?!? Que torceu o tornozelo no intervalo de um jogo quando tentou dar um tapa na bola que estava presa entre a tabela e o aro .

Cade ?!

Denis disse...

Ele não entrou na lista, assim como o Dirk que torceu o pé CALÇANDO o tênis!

Anônimo disse...

"se alguém tiver coragem, tiver três bolas no saco, pode ir lá e conferir. O Starks eu sei que não tem."

Caras, ri feito um idiota disso...

OUEAHOAUHEAOUEHOEUAHOEHAEAUHEUEAHUO

Netinho disse...

Ops..esqueci de escrever meu nome no comentario acima

Sbub disse...

Eu joguei pelada durante toda a adolescência nas quadras mais toscas, sem alongamento, aquecimento ou tênis apropriados. E foi tudo bem. Eu fui machucar meu joelho nadando! Quando disserem que natação é um esporte saudável e sem impacto, empurra o cara na piscina!

Ronin disse...

A do Starks eu lembro..ehehhehee.
Agora o cara do Game Boy mandou bem.
E parem com a heresia sobre o grande NBA All Star Challenger. Tá certo que Jordan vs Bird era clássico, mas pô...dêem uma moral porque o game tem o Derek Harper no elenco.

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Homare Sawa calls time on an epic international career
Homare Sawa calls time on an epic internationalcareer
Jenna Pel
Aug 11, 2012, 12:46 PM EDT
2 Comments

Bidding adieu to a living legend of the women s game.

At the age of 15, Homare Sawa scored four goals in her debut appearance for Japan. The crafty central midfielder would continue to make good on that early promise for nearly two decades.
Sawa today announced her retirement from the international game. She wont merely be remembered for her footballing accomplishments, and its a mightily impressive CV: World Cup triumph; Golden Ball; Golden Boot; 2011 FIFA Player of the Year award; Olympic silver medal.
Sulking over silver? Not a chance. Japan wins their first ever Olympic medal in women s soccer and Homare Sawa can t help but beam with pride. She embodied class and grace.
The 33-year-old made an indelible impact on the womens game. Her inspired play helped elevate the standard of womens soccer both in terms of quality and global prestige.
U.S. fans were first introduced to the Japanese no. 10 during her three-year stint with Atlanta Beat in the Womens United Soccer Association. The sleek and composed no. 10 would return to the U.S. in 2009 as a member of the Washington Freedom [url=http://www.nikeshoxs2013.com/womens-nike-shox-nz-c-9.html]cheap womens nike shox[/url] in Women s Professional Soccer. She would remain a fan favorite.
Sawa cemented her legacy with her exploits in Germany last summer. Her crowning moment arrived in her final turn on the worlds grandest stage. Even at 32, her game showed no signs of decline or regression. Exactly the opposite, in fact.
Its impossible to imagine Japans stunning Word Cup run without her immense influence. Sawa performed dual roles for her side, and did so brilliantly. She was both the conductor and the principal performer. She was the brains in Japans inventive midfield and provided the firepower with five goals. It was her late header in the final against the U.S. that forced overtime and put the World Cup within Japans grasp.
That inspirational performance made her an icon back home. The Nadeshiko lifted the spirits of a nation stricken by natural disaster. Sawa became the face of Japans new national heroes quite literally.
A firsthand account from an American based in Japan:

Heck, I live in a very rural backwater (think the Japanese equivalent of North Dakota), and the annual festivals float was hastily redesigned to be a 10-foot-tall representation of a dragon wearing Sawas uniform.
In Kobe, Sawas face was everywhere, and banners congratulating her and the team lined the main streets. Posters with Sawa talking about the importance of everything from a balanced diet to studying hard now grace all the elementary schools at which I teach.

Sawa took time in Fridays press conference to wish Japans youth team luck in the upcoming U-20 World Cup. The Nadeshikos next generation will aim to keep Japan amongst the worlds elite. That position is one Sawa helped secure.

Time to reminisce. Sawa joins her teammates as they relive that momentous equalizer against the United States:

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